The best first date is a huge challenge for men or women. The challenge on first dates can be tremendous. A first date may also become very rewarding. The excitement of going out on a date for the very first time is out of this world. When you do not know the person or you have recently met them and you do get together for a meal or an activity there is so much to learn about the other person. The biggest questions are about how to start the conversation. What subjects to talk about? How personal do you get? How deep into what subjects? Do you keep the conversation very light and do not delve into deep chat about anything. What do you talk about to get to know the other person? Most of these questions may refer more to a blind date. These are the most difficult to get started in conversation. You are almost tip-toeing around the talking to feel out with the other person the proper subject to chat about. These are the most awkward moments on a first date. It is always very easy to start out by talking about the weather. That is if you really need an icebreaker to get started. Do not continue weather chat or you will kill the date and probably not get a second date. If you do start off with weather chat, then immediately find a reference and change the subject. Anything is better talk then weather.
If you are not a good conversation starter then ask questions about them. Talk about their outfit or hair. You may ask questions about what they do for a living. Where are they from or where they grew up? A good chat starter is asking about hobbies and what they do for fun. Are they physically active and do they work out or play sports. Do they like movies and what is their favorite? Are they Foodies even if you are out for a bite to eat. Maybe the next date you will go to a more upscale restaurant with a different cuisine and do some foodie exploration. Asking questions will open up conversations to no end. If you fade out of one subject then ask another question about that subject or a new one and continue the talk. The first date is all about getting to know a little bit about the other person. The only way that is going to happen is by talking to one another and asking questions. If both parties feel comfortable then the conversation will usually go pretty smooth after getting started by making a few inquiries about each other.
On a blind date getting started in conversing is usually the toughest. You need to step out of your comfort zone and break past the anxiety and fear. That knot in your stomach is there for a reason. You must get past that anguish and force yourself to become outgoing and start talking. You best beware though, you do not want to be a chatterer and talk about nothing. You will not look confident and the other person may fade away from you. Now your first date is going to suck and chances of a second date is probably null and void. Be aware of the content you are chatting about. Keep your words interesting and exciting to your date. Make sure your subjects are interesting enough to keep them involved.If you bore your date with garbage chat then you will most likely cut the date short, not get a kiss and definitely not get a second date. Blind Dates must be kept very interesting or you wasted your time.
A first date can be extremely exciting if you have met the person and have had talked a few times. Now you have broken the ice with each other and are already starting to feel comfortable. This pre dating conversation saves a ton of anxiety and builds more excitement. You have both gotten over the frustration of what to say to that person, because you have both introduced yourselves to one another and gotten over the stumbling blocks of the initial conversation. That very first introduction may have the positive energies needed to eventually ask that person out on a date. The very first ‘one-on-one’ introduction can make or break a possible future relationship. So choose you words properly and act accordingly. Good positive chats with that person over and over helps both parties become relaxed with the other. This also cuts out any negative feelings and steers you both in the direction of a possible first date. Chances are it will be mutual and good.
First Dates are really what you make them. You really must feel a little something for the person you wish to date. It always helps if the two of you have some sort of common interest. If you met at the gym, then you both are about health. If you meet someone at work, shopping, concert, bar or wherever, then there is somewhat common interests which is enough to strike some feelings for the other person. Therefore, feelings will grow and so will conversation. Now you are starting to learn about them and that can very easily lead up to asking for a date. At this point if you do get a first date, things should run pretty smooth with the exception of the excitement. That is only natural as humans have feelings. If you are excited and so is your date then there are many positive feelings flowing. With this as the start of the date, almost nothing can go wrong. Chances of a good date will happen and that should lead to future dates. You are on your way to a possible relationship.
I had a first date recently after a 19 year relationship. It was amazing, but then again I have not been on a date in close to 20 years. I almost felt like a teenager. It was definitely uplifting and very exciting. I did have to reach for some conversation starters, but she carried quite a bit of the conversation and that evened it out pretty much. We had a good dinner date and then stopped for a drink on the way to taking her home. There the date continued for a couple hours of chat. The conversation opened us both up a bit to feel much more comfortable with each other. I walked her to her door to say good night and ask for second date if she was interested. She said, “of course, I’d really like that…”. So I leaned in and gave her a kiss goodnight and she grabbed me, pulled me in tight and planted a major kiss back on to me.
Yes, I scored a second date with this girl! I had a great first date. Good Luck to you!
When was your last first date and how did it go?
by Brian Barolo
Consistency is Crucial and ever so important in our lives. Every single day we wake up and our body is looking for certain things. We must be consistent with what we do for our body. Consistency is one of the major factors to leading us to good health. To be consistent does take constant effort until we create good routines. A routine can keep us regular in everything as long as we are consistent in following it. The trick is to force yourself into following every single step in said routine. Then to be consistent with those routines throughout your entire life. Consistency is a major factor in reaching those goals. Being ever so consistent with your routines will eventually get you to reaching your goal. Of course we are talking about your goal being good health. Same with anything you wish to achieve, practice makes perfect.
Sports teams are the most consistent. People play professional sports to win. A team must be consistent every game as to not ever loose. The only way to reach success is to follow certain regiments of practice. These are set up by coaches. They have ways of teaching your body various movements and working particular muscles. Practicing these movements over and over builds strength and agility. When a baseball player wants to hit better he will be consistently practicing his batting. For every sports team from little league to the top professional sports teams consistency and practice is one of the major concerns. If you have ever played any sport at all then you are aware of having to go to practice much more often then games. Players must learn to play with the others and the best way to do that is consistently playing together. When practicing with your counterparts all the time you become aware of how each other works. When teams meld together in their performance they tend to conquer and win. It appears to me that some of the greatest dynasties in sports came from the teams that appeared to be the most consistent.
Routines are a great thing to develop for good positive actions in your life. Habits on the other hand tend to be on the negative side. Have you been consistent with your bad habits like most people? That is due to creating a comfort zone for yourself. You find an easy way and you understand it and then you become very comfortable with it. Now you have created a habit and if it is not as good for you then you need to break it and start a new routine. Yes, a routine should be looked at as being good and habits should be considered bad. Being smart is to loose all your habits and start new good positive routines. Now that we are starting new routines we must figure out every single step. Identify with each and every detail involved with that slightest movement and the next movement and so on and so on. It may seem a bit redundant but aren’t we trying to build new routines to better our ourselves. In doing the so called redundancy and refining the routine you must be consistently doing these tiny little tasks with in your brain. Be careful due to the fact that repetitive motions become automatic reactions. Meaning your subconscious tells your body what motor skills to use at what precise moment. That is how our bodies operate.
Are you consistent in your life?
by Brian Barolo
Even with my health problems, my wife and I believed we were prepared for retirement fifteen years ago. Our nest-egg was substantial and the economy was in good health. We optimistically believed our retirement funds would last until we passed, and we would leave a large inheritance to our kids.
I retired at the age of 61 in 1998. My cardiologist advised that with the continued stress of my job I could soon be dead or at least severely disabled, but if I would get my life-style under control, I could expect to live past my actuarial age of 85. I resolved to beat the medical issues and live well the next twenty-five years.
My wife and I had both stashed money into self-directed 401 K accounts. I had an IRA-SEP left over from a previous business venture, owned a block of stock in the company where I worked as VP of Engineering, and had a sizable chunk of options in that company that should be worth a cool six figure total. We were not worth a million, but we were not too far away.
We sold our condominium in Northern California and moved into an RV (recreational vehicle), a 35-foot fifth-wheel trailer pulled by a Dodge Ram pickup truck. My financial analysis showed we could live in that environment for about half the cash flow required to maintain a fixed home while we traveled. Besides, we planned to spend most of our time driving about to see the whole United States. Fuel was cheaper back then.
Most of my plans worked well, and we have enjoyed our roaming life-style. It has been good for my health, and I now fully expect to reach 85 or even beyond.
Our financial base proved to be less solid than I had assumed. My former company did not hold its great value. My stock options never came above water, and the stock I owned dropped in value faster than I could sell it off. We combined our tax-deferred accounts into new IRAs and managed them more carefully. However, a portion of our wealth was entangled in the Dot.Com bubble, and we lost on those investments. We also enjoyed a comfortable life-style that used more savings than prudent.
Fast-forwarding to today, my wife and I are both relatively healthy. We live on Social Security payments plus cash generated from liquidating our remaining retirement funds. Five years ago I moved most of our liquid assets into a gold ETF and gold stocks, so we have been lucky to see a nice appreciation in value and miss the low rate of return and capital deflation that followed the housing bust.
Like many in a situation similar to ours, I have come to realize that living to the age of 85 could be a curse. We face the prospect of exhausting our retirement funds in the near future, and when that happens a substantial portion of our retirement cash flow will simply disappear. Several of our contemporaries in the retirement community where we live have either gone through this transition or are about to do so. We like those others must develop a plan and learn the habits of living on less.
My first step in developing a plan has been to create a list of actions to take before or upon the reduction of retirement income. Most are obvious, especially when you stop and think about them, but it helps to have them written down. Maybe my list can be of help to you.
— Eliminate all debts and pay no interest to anyone. It is okay to use credit cards, but pay them off each month. If you forget to pay some credit card bill, let paying that interest and late charge be a lesson.
— Reduce or eliminate your more frivolous and expensive habits such as eating out at restaurants, gambling, and smoking tobacco. Give up drugs if you use them. Purchase basic foods for less money and develop a habit of preparing good meals at home. Do not purchase “toys” simply because you want them; buy only what you really need.
— Focus on controlling your diet. Reduce your food intake, both frequency and portion size. My wife and I do breakfast in the morning and “dinner” in the mid-afternoon. We limit extra snacks and drinks.
— If you eat out, split an entree with your spouse, skip desert, drink water. End unhealthy and expensive habits like smoking and high-class wine.
— Exercise will keep you healthy longer and improve your quality of life, and it provides an excuse if you want to eat more. Of course, exercise can add to the curse of living longer.
— Pick your retirement community with care; chose one where neighbors have much in common and help each other. We live in a 55+ years or older community for RVers with very moderate maintenance costs.
— Both might consider getting jobs, but do not expect high paying jobs. Retired executives and their secretaries are not in high demand once they are fifteen years out of date.
— Purchase everyday clothes from thrift stores or second hand shops. Some specialty second-hand stores even offer inexpensive glamorous clothes.
— Check out your health insurance plan. Maybe you can go with a cheaper supplemental health plan. If you live in the right area, consider going to Mexico for medications and dental work.
— Put a plan in place for possibility you may require assisted-care. This can cost hard-to-find money, but you could need this kind of care at the worst possible time, as your life is ending.
— Travel in an RV is still viable, but go for shorter trips and stay in each place longer. That becomes more important as the price of fuel rises.
— Keep a detailed accounting of what you are spending month by month. You may find some periodic expenses are being charged to your credit card without you even thinking about it. Determine if you can live if you only have Social Security. Plan ahead.
The next suggestions are controversial to some, but I find them to be practical.
— If you still have a life insurance policy, cash it out. Some people do like keeping a small policy to pay for the expenses of dying, but your spirit will not be there, so keep things simple.
— If you own a home, consider selling it now to get whatever money you can from its value. If you still have a mortgage on it, this can be especially important because you to eliminate those monthly payment and the debt. In fact, I suggest not owning any real property, so you pay no property tax or extra insurance. For an RVer this allows you to chose which state you want as your domicile.
— Do not plan to leave an inheritance for the kids; you may need the funds yourself. As my Dad said, “I expect to spend my last cent the day before I die.” He almost succeeded. But do have a will to cover momentos and whatever valuables that might be left when you are gone.
— Stop providing financial help to the children or grandchildren; they must learn to provide for themselves, and you may need the funds more than they do. It helps to sometimes warn them that you may have to ask them for help in the future.
Finally, do not fool yourself by thinking everything will be fine. Mrs. Murphy suggests something could go wrong. Plan ahead, and strive to make your life worth living, whatever resources you may have to live it.
Hello Brian here and I am at the beginings of my new career, blogging. I am truly a Mid Fifties Rock ‘n Roller. My whole entire life was based around music ever since I was a child and earned enough money to purchase a portable FM radio. This unit was no larger than than my hand and I could tune in rock stations and listen to all the greats ( most of whom are deceased now). Which brings up the topic of health which is what most of this blogging is about. I chose health to blog about because of its importance to each and every one of us humans throughout our existence. So I have listened to rock ‘n roll all my life and have seen the general health of many rockers decline, whether they were musicians, technicians, engineers, fans, whatever your title would be in the world of rock. The departments in which I worked for 37 + years was lighting, rigging, electrical, trucking, etc…. There are so many titles that some days I may have worn up to 10 hats.
All of the jobs involved in rock shows are very entailed to the TEE! Some jobs are more tedious than others and others are more stressful. Being in this quick paced industry, one must learn how to handle pressure and stress big time or they will have failing health. One of the ways is to drink. Other ways are drugs. Being in the industry that is base on Sex, Drugs and Rock’n Roll most individuals have partaken in all 3 for extended periods throughout their lives and or are passed or still going till they drop. What does that actually mean ” to drop dead” ? I guess it is when your body physically cannot handle anything anymore! I was a lighting guy out on tour and I took part in all 3 of the activities: sex,drugs and rock’n roll everyday. The whole aspect in life was to catch a buzz and get laid, while listening to music. Now if I could earn a living incorporating SDRR, than I found the golden ticket. I abused myself to a certain point and had blast when I was out on rock tours, but I always tried to take care of my physical health at bare minimum. What about all those rockers who never paid attention to what their body needs. Where are they now?
Here I sit at 57 in pretty good health compared to many. I had some health issues come up when I was out on AC/DC tour that forced me to change some of my dietary needs. Making some of these changes that are necessary in order for the body to operate properly was a must. So, I started to stop the intake of certain foods that I felt might help me alleviate some of the unwanted bodily functions. Once I eliminated ‘MILK’, then I started to eliminate all dairy little by little. As soon as I stopped all the dairy the problems decreased. This was great and I continued on touring with other acts rocking and rolling along. Watching my health and mostly my intake I soon became animate about reading ingredients labels to make sure I was not taking in any dairy. I figured a good habit to get into would be doing what ever it takes to not intake any dairy, whatsoever! As I continued through life with out dairy, my problems almost disappeared 100{3813292df256cc7359db914c8bfffc508a0964aa786224d36d2cb21f4b33d600}.
After AC/DC tour I went directly out on tour with Metallica. WOW, the energy was so high the work was tremendous and the Partying was incredible! Now I started going full speed ahead with no stopping. Sex, Drugs and Rock’n Roll was in full bloom and at its peak for me. Now what do you do when you start disregarding your health (physical,mental and spiritual). Who cares when you believe you have everything and all is going so perfect. You are out on the road with the biggest Rock Band, chicks will do anything, drugs are available. Well, I worked my ass off and I partyed my ass off. I got paid well and I was young. I pushed things to the limit. Then after a very long bus ride and partying all nite and morning we checked into a hotel for the remainder of the day. Our show wasn’t until the next day so my buddy and I went out to go get something to eat and drink. We ran into some girls who gave us a ride a bit later back to the hotel where majority of the crew was drinking at the hotel bar. We hung out for a bit then decided we were off to Denny’s about 11 pm for a bite to eat before crashing for the night. The girls saw us heading out and were going to give us a ride to Denny’s. We crammed into her car and as she is pulling out from in front of the hotel, she punches the gas and tries to pull a U-Turn. Well it was sprinkling rain and the road was wet so the car fishtails into a parked car and a pick-up truck. Me being crammed up in the back seat on the passenger side with 3 people in the back of a 1979 Toyota Corolla took the brunt of the crash. We hit on my side causing me to get slammed. My head hit the coat hanging hook causing a V split in my skull. 12 stitches was the count also Herniated Disks in my neck. I was unconcious and came to in the hospital when they were putting me into a CAT Scan. The lead backline tech held my hand and had me sign out of the hospital and put me in my room at the hotel.
The next day I was a mess. I slept in and missed my bus call. The production went on without me and I had to get my mental health together quick because of the predicament that I got myself into. That takes quite a bit after a such an impact on your brain. It took me a bit of walking around in circles in the lobby after checking out to figure what I was going to do. Not only about the tour, which I might be getting released from, but about my life.