The best first date is a huge challenge for men or women. The challenge on first dates can be tremendous. A first date may also become very rewarding. The excitement of going out on a date for the very first time is out of this world. When you do not know the person or you have recently met them and you do get together for a meal or an activity there is so much to learn about the other person. The biggest questions are about how to start the conversation. What subjects to talk about? How personal do you get? How deep into what subjects? Do you keep the conversation very light and do not delve into deep chat about anything. What do you talk about to get to know the other person? Most of these questions may refer more to a blind date. These are the most difficult to get started in conversation. You are almost tip-toeing around the talking to feel out with the other person the proper subject to chat about. These are the most awkward moments on a first date. It is always very easy to start out by talking about the weather. That is if you really need an icebreaker to get started. Do not continue weather chat or you will kill the date and probably not get a second date. If you do start off with weather chat, then immediately find a reference and change the subject. Anything is better talk then weather.
If you are not a good conversation starter then ask questions about them. Talk about their outfit or hair. You may ask questions about what they do for a living. Where are they from or where they grew up? A good chat starter is asking about hobbies and what they do for fun. Are they physically active and do they work out or play sports. Do they like movies and what is their favorite? Are they Foodies even if you are out for a bite to eat. Maybe the next date you will go to a more upscale restaurant with a different cuisine and do some foodie exploration. Asking questions will open up conversations to no end. If you fade out of one subject then ask another question about that subject or a new one and continue the talk. The first date is all about getting to know a little bit about the other person. The only way that is going to happen is by talking to one another and asking questions. If both parties feel comfortable then the conversation will usually go pretty smooth after getting started by making a few inquiries about each other.
On a blind date getting started in conversing is usually the toughest. You need to step out of your comfort zone and break past the anxiety and fear. That knot in your stomach is there for a reason. You must get past that anguish and force yourself to become outgoing and start talking. You best beware though, you do not want to be a chatterer and talk about nothing. You will not look confident and the other person may fade away from you. Now your first date is going to suck and chances of a second date is probably null and void. Be aware of the content you are chatting about. Keep your words interesting and exciting to your date. Make sure your subjects are interesting enough to keep them involved.If you bore your date with garbage chat then you will most likely cut the date short, not get a kiss and definitely not get a second date. Blind Dates must be kept very interesting or you wasted your time.
A first date can be extremely exciting if you have met the person and have had talked a few times. Now you have broken the ice with each other and are already starting to feel comfortable. This pre dating conversation saves a ton of anxiety and builds more excitement. You have both gotten over the frustration of what to say to that person, because you have both introduced yourselves to one another and gotten over the stumbling blocks of the initial conversation. That very first introduction may have the positive energies needed to eventually ask that person out on a date. The very first ‘one-on-one’ introduction can make or break a possible future relationship. So choose you words properly and act accordingly. Good positive chats with that person over and over helps both parties become relaxed with the other. This also cuts out any negative feelings and steers you both in the direction of a possible first date. Chances are it will be mutual and good.
First Dates are really what you make them. You really must feel a little something for the person you wish to date. It always helps if the two of you have some sort of common interest. If you met at the gym, then you both are about health. If you meet someone at work, shopping, concert, bar or wherever, then there is somewhat common interests which is enough to strike some feelings for the other person. Therefore, feelings will grow and so will conversation. Now you are starting to learn about them and that can very easily lead up to asking for a date. At this point if you do get a first date, things should run pretty smooth with the exception of the excitement. That is only natural as humans have feelings. If you are excited and so is your date then there are many positive feelings flowing. With this as the start of the date, almost nothing can go wrong. Chances of a good date will happen and that should lead to future dates. You are on your way to a possible relationship.
I had a first date recently after a 19 year relationship. It was amazing, but then again I have not been on a date in close to 20 years. I almost felt like a teenager. It was definitely uplifting and very exciting. I did have to reach for some conversation starters, but she carried quite a bit of the conversation and that evened it out pretty much. We had a good dinner date and then stopped for a drink on the way to taking her home. There the date continued for a couple hours of chat. The conversation opened us both up a bit to feel much more comfortable with each other. I walked her to her door to say good night and ask for second date if she was interested. She said, “of course, I’d really like that…”. So I leaned in and gave her a kiss goodnight and she grabbed me, pulled me in tight and planted a major kiss back on to me.
Yes, I scored a second date with this girl! I had a great first date. Good Luck to you!
When was your last first date and how did it go?
by Brian Barolo
